Like most of the internet, on Monday January 23 I took a moment to pause at the announcement from the M&M’S spokescandies they had decided to take a pause from their brand mascot duties. The new M&M’S spokesperson, AKA the “Chief of Fun,” is actress and comedian Maya Rudolph.

I’ve got nothing against Maya. In fact, I like her quite a bit! I always have! But I don’t believe the M&M’S spokescandies are taking an indefinite pause from their roles.

In true internet fashion, I have decided the only way to truly make my case is by creating a listicle of all the reasons why the M&M’S spokescandies can’t really be on pause (Hey, I’ve been writing online for more than 10 years. For better or worse, the listicle is one of the few, proven ways we still get the collective attention of the masses.)

1. Suspicious Announcement Timing.

Everything about this announcement timing seems pretty sus to me.

The spokescandies confirmed in December 2022 they would be making a “legendary” return to Super Bowl LVII on Sunday, February 12, 2023. Obviously, this means every spokescandy will be present and accounted for in their Game Day commercial spot.

Brand mascots work hard in the advertising industry. The Super Bowl is the time for global snack brands to shine. It feels simply too last minute before Game Day for brand mascots of this caliber to back out of a Super Bowl commitment.

Considering the current career climate we’re in, I’d almost buy an announcement that the M&M’S were going through some sort of layoff/restructuring/reorganizing process before an “indefinite pause.”

2. Suspicious Announcement Release.

This announcement was released solely on social media channels.

It still doesn’t feel right! In the back of my brain, I’m imagining a version where this announcement is written on the Notes app.

3. What About Purple?!

What ABOUT Purple, AKA the first new M&M’S spokescandy in a decade?

There is no way we’re going to debut her and then put her on an indefinite pause! She just made her debut! She needs her commercial screentime to begin building a rapport with audiences.

4. Maya Is Booked and Busy!

How can America expect Maya to be the spokesperson to an indefinite M&M’S pause when she’s in the middle of “Loot” on Apple TV+?

While I’m sure she is making some time for M&M’S commercials, I don’t think she could squeeze in all the duties and responsibilities which come with being a spokesperson for a candy brand. It’s hard work. There’s a reason why all the existing spokespeople for brands —Allstate, Old Spice, Dos Equis — are fictional personas.

5. Did All The M&M’S Spokescandies Agree To Do This? Seriously?

There is no way Red co-signed an indefinite pause. Perhaps most of the M&M’S could be persuaded otherwise, but Red, oh Red, he would dig his heels in on this kind of idea.

“Ain’t no WAY I’m gonna pause! I’m the best candy of the bunch! America loves Red!” — Red, probably. (I can hear him now.)

This has been a lovingly joking tribute to the M&M’S marketing campaign.


  1. Maybe lots of people contacted M&Ms over their advertising. I did it myself. Here’s what I wrote:

    I read that your company said it intends to better honor its “global commitment to creating a world where everyone feels they belong, and society is inclusive.”
    So here is my question: Are you excluding males?
    I saw the Mars candy company said it will debut all-female M&M’s packages.
    The M&M’s website said it is “Flipping the status quo in pop culture” and “$1 from every flipped pack will go to support the next generation of women flipping the script in creative industries.”
    Of course women should be accepted and valued – so should men. How do male employees and consumers feel when women are helped or celebrated more than men? Gender bias and discrimination against boys and men is offensive. I know there are many boys and men struggling in the world today and yet businesses and people who say they care about communities and making a difference, seem to be turning a blind eye to issues pertaining to boys and men. Boys and men are people too.
    I hope you can answer my questions. I used to buy Mars products, I’m not buying them for now. Mars seems to be gender biased against men. And discriminating against boys and men because of their gender is wrong.


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